Recently I was finishing up yet another larger crochet piece. I thought about how often I joke that all of my art and creativity is based in masochism. Most people agree with me.
And I think about how self harm exists as a way to express pain, anguish, depression. A poorly focused attempt to find relief and catharsis. We try to stop people from doing this, villifying it and making it something people should simply put down.
Honestly, I've tried self harm exactly once. I cut myself on the leg, and looked at the blood on my leg. I stared at it for a moment before asking myself why people did that, because it had absolutely no effect on me. Never tried it again.
At the same time, we take pride in masochists who use pain as a way to process. We appreciate them, and encourage bottoms who will play with the intention of processing the things that happen in their lives.
And yes, that's a bit backwards in many ways, that we celebrate one direction, but try to remove the other, rather than try to redirect.
Anyway, stick with me.
When I make things, I often find some of the most complex idea I think I can manage. Things that not only make me have to plot out half of it, but things that take long periods of time, or literally hurt to make. My arms will get tired, or my hands will cramp and get stiff and sore. I push myself consistently, to make things in hopes that the final product will be exactly what I hoped.
Maybe this is just a less frowned upon form of self induced masochism.
And I think about how self harm exists as a way to express pain, anguish, depression. A poorly focused attempt to find relief and catharsis. We try to stop people from doing this, villifying it and making it something people should simply put down.
Honestly, I've tried self harm exactly once. I cut myself on the leg, and looked at the blood on my leg. I stared at it for a moment before asking myself why people did that, because it had absolutely no effect on me. Never tried it again.
At the same time, we take pride in masochists who use pain as a way to process. We appreciate them, and encourage bottoms who will play with the intention of processing the things that happen in their lives.
And yes, that's a bit backwards in many ways, that we celebrate one direction, but try to remove the other, rather than try to redirect.
Anyway, stick with me.
When I make things, I often find some of the most complex idea I think I can manage. Things that not only make me have to plot out half of it, but things that take long periods of time, or literally hurt to make. My arms will get tired, or my hands will cramp and get stiff and sore. I push myself consistently, to make things in hopes that the final product will be exactly what I hoped.
Maybe this is just a less frowned upon form of self induced masochism.
Comments
Post a Comment