Catalyst Removed

I'm pretty sure I mentioned recently, that my parents were going to be out of town earlier this week.  Well, Lux didn't make it down for the visit to take advantage of the time, but I did what I could to make the most of it, which I'll discuss in the coming weeks.

I did however, try to get as much done every day as I could, which included going out of my way to take care of the house however I could anticipate.  Squishy even commented on how much she liked the quiet of them being gone, and how involved she felt in the day when she got home.

My parents called, and were talking to Squishy as they were on the way home.  She was talking about all the things we had done, and my mom asked why I was so much nicer when they were gone.

When the call ended, Squishy repeated it all, as kids do, and I pointed out that it's a lot easier to be in a good mood, and do more, and go out of the way to do things when I don't have two people spending every day telling me I'm a worthless idiot.

And it is.  When I'm around people who treat me even decently, I will do everything I possibly can to help.  I like taking care of the space around me, but I hate doing things walking on eggshells.  Having that negative force as a constant only makes me want to do as little as possible for them.  It's both me not wanting make them feel like how they treat me is ok (which I know they'll never realize), and because I know they'll always find something to shit on me for anyway, so there's no reason to go out of my way for them if they'll just find more to attack me about.

I know the kind of person I am, which is entirely different from what they think, and even more different from what they encourage with their own behavior.