Last year, Lux and I made a list. A list of things we wanted to do instead of Pennsic. I tried to slowly add things over time to it, at a variety of types of things, that we either hadn't done, or wanted to do again in another frame.
Well, we never made that trip, and never decided on something. That list is still there, and I think about it after that handful of days I spent with Lux over the new year.
While we were on one of our many adventures, Lux admitted to not knowing about what Folsom was, and when I explained it to him, he said that he'd been thinking about wanting to attend a leather event, although not feeling the most confident about it.
And while I immediately commented on how the reasons he had were purely in his head, and he would have his worries proven incorrect as soon as he was there, I also considered what I thought about going to a leather event.
Leather spaces are often very gay male centric. It can be a very stereotypically exclusionary, and while I doubt it would stop me, I worry about that.
Despite being on the very masculine side of the spectrum, and not even being a ciswoman, would I be ostracized from the space? By having a hetero-passing dynamic, would that affect how people interacted with Lux? Would people refuse to acknowledge that I am far more than a bottom or a slave?
And yes, I've been in gay spaces and gotten checked out, and had people find me in a suit comment on how attractively masculine it is. In fact, it may have the potential to become something affirming for me.
Which leads me to thinking about other events we've mentioned going to before. Ones that on the surface might be more for Lux, but that I could go to and either learn or see and grow from.
It makes me want to do more this year. Go somewhere that I'm not necessarily sure I will have somewhere I'm welcome. Do things I haven't done to meet new people.
Let's take on more.
Well, we never made that trip, and never decided on something. That list is still there, and I think about it after that handful of days I spent with Lux over the new year.
While we were on one of our many adventures, Lux admitted to not knowing about what Folsom was, and when I explained it to him, he said that he'd been thinking about wanting to attend a leather event, although not feeling the most confident about it.
And while I immediately commented on how the reasons he had were purely in his head, and he would have his worries proven incorrect as soon as he was there, I also considered what I thought about going to a leather event.
Leather spaces are often very gay male centric. It can be a very stereotypically exclusionary, and while I doubt it would stop me, I worry about that.
Despite being on the very masculine side of the spectrum, and not even being a ciswoman, would I be ostracized from the space? By having a hetero-passing dynamic, would that affect how people interacted with Lux? Would people refuse to acknowledge that I am far more than a bottom or a slave?
And yes, I've been in gay spaces and gotten checked out, and had people find me in a suit comment on how attractively masculine it is. In fact, it may have the potential to become something affirming for me.
Which leads me to thinking about other events we've mentioned going to before. Ones that on the surface might be more for Lux, but that I could go to and either learn or see and grow from.
It makes me want to do more this year. Go somewhere that I'm not necessarily sure I will have somewhere I'm welcome. Do things I haven't done to meet new people.
Let's take on more.
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