It's been many years since Lux first moved to the area where he is right now. I remember how anxious I was about it, afraid that this connection I had just made would fall apart, and I would never see him again. Whether from my own stubbornness, his, or something else altogether, that didn't happen, and I'm grateful for it.
Despite the pandemic, Lux is preparing another move. His current job allows him to move more or less anywhere he wants, so long as there is an airport within reasonable distance. And so he's decided that this move will be a bigger one, and he'll be changing states again, from north of me, to south.
And honestly, he'll wind up having near the same length drive to get to here, and I'll have the same amount of travel as well. On paper, for the most part, things should stay the same, and while they aren't perfect, they are something we are used to.
I can't help but panic a little though. Where Lux is moving, he'll have partners nearby, and a ton of our friends. Hell, he'll be a short drive from Kitty even. I'm so worried that over time, with me now being the one furthest away, other people will just become priority, he'll just fade himself away. I worry that he won't have any time for me, because even now, work takes so much of his time that we don't talk as much as we probably should. I worry that now being tucked away someone we won't get to share experiences anymore.
While no, I don't need Lux in my life to survive in any sense, I'm still afraid of this move stopping him from being there. Afraid that this thing we've put so much work into, for so long, will just fizzle out, and especially with this stupid pandemic, I won't even have the chance to keep it from happening.
Despite the pandemic, Lux is preparing another move. His current job allows him to move more or less anywhere he wants, so long as there is an airport within reasonable distance. And so he's decided that this move will be a bigger one, and he'll be changing states again, from north of me, to south.
And honestly, he'll wind up having near the same length drive to get to here, and I'll have the same amount of travel as well. On paper, for the most part, things should stay the same, and while they aren't perfect, they are something we are used to.
I can't help but panic a little though. Where Lux is moving, he'll have partners nearby, and a ton of our friends. Hell, he'll be a short drive from Kitty even. I'm so worried that over time, with me now being the one furthest away, other people will just become priority, he'll just fade himself away. I worry that he won't have any time for me, because even now, work takes so much of his time that we don't talk as much as we probably should. I worry that now being tucked away someone we won't get to share experiences anymore.
While no, I don't need Lux in my life to survive in any sense, I'm still afraid of this move stopping him from being there. Afraid that this thing we've put so much work into, for so long, will just fizzle out, and especially with this stupid pandemic, I won't even have the chance to keep it from happening.
Comments
Post a Comment