We've hit that point where Lux and I are more seeing silly symptoms of stress. Life has happened (and continues to happen) and we're both going through a ton. As a result, we're noticing some of the standard responses from our brain.
It means we're both super horny, while we're apart, and craving all the things.
Well, he's craving all the things. I'm apparently at a point where it's all a bit more specific. I've stopped wanting violence the same way I normally would. Instead I'm wanting controlling force, that comes from a place of possessive power exchange.
It's not that situation which is near a stereotype of wanting something different. It's not that I feel like I need to let go of being in charge. Hell, with things going on, I'm feeling out of control of everything around me, and the entirety of my day.
I want the comfort of having control in the hands of someone I trust. To feel the steadiness that I'm doing what I can, and that someone can see that and is proud of how much I'm doing. That someone still wants me, even while I'm mentally scattered from what I'm dealing with. That feeling of safety with someone else.
There's a serenity that comes from it, and that's what I'm feeling the need for.
If life won't give me a day of peace, then my mind wants a break in a way that makes me happy.
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