A New Devious Chapter

So, I've been kind of bummed lately, due to the state of things at home.  In order to keep from dwelling on the bad, I'm going to make a list of the good things that bring me comfort and happiness. Night time in the car A cigar and a cup of coffee Walking around somewhere calm with friends Watching others play videogames, and providing witty banter Simple food made well.  Fancy stuff can be nice, but I prefer simple savory comfort flavors. Cooking for loved ones The smell of candles lit with a match Hiding in blankets with a book Random silly conversations Comfy snuggly sex.  Even if it's violent, or full of misogyny, or whatever else, I should want to snuggle with my partner Flailing around to music Making something new Learning Helping friends Sitting outside in the fresh air Old fantasy movies Silly anime Violent anime Sore muscles, and bruises Endorphin highs Watching fire The smell of warm vanilla Being naked And I'm sure a ton more things. 

A few days ago, someone I used to talk to contacted me again for the first time since I kicked out the gnome.  We chatted for a bit, catching up, and just general bs. She informed me that her marriage had fallen apart, due to lack of work on both their parts from the sound of it, but I could tell she was spinning it in a way that villainized him, and as of the beginning of summer, they were officially divorced. She also said that on Halloween she's getting married again. Now, I know that it takes at least 18 months to get a divorce in this state, but a span of two years isn't really enough to get mentally clear of your last relationship (which had to involve courts and custody and extra stuff due to their son) find someone, get through new relationship energy, then decide on, and plan a wedding.  We also know my opinion on weddings, but that's less valid here, this is just solid time logic.  I think it takes at least a year to figure out how you mesh with a person.  Yo

I mentioned how my friend last weekend decided to piss off Lux last weekend in the middle of a story. The story was about a friend of his, who is transitioning, and he finds their new behviours as they try to as their new gender to be unattractive.  He was explaining this, as it was appropriate to a picture he had seen, where he saw a woman to be attractive, but her body language wasn't, and this transitioning friend is frequently pushing a lot of the same habits and postures. My friend, before Lux even finished the story, started accusing Lux as being transphobic, shoving the idea down his throat without actually listening to him.  Needless to say, the judgement like that had Lux upset, and then she decided to go on about how she had to learn to profile people as a defense mechanism, and in a most condescending way told Lux he "was still a good person". Hence, going upstairs for cathartic sex shortly afterward. The next day, on the Tumbls, she decided to post a long

So, it's been an odd, but fun few days. Last Friday, I looked outside, and saw one of the main branches on the apple tree had split.  We yielded so many apples this year that the tree literally couldn't stand up to the weight, and broke.  My guess is that we wound up with near 400lbs of apples.  Which has meant bagging them up to go to everyone we know, as well as making a ton of applesauce and pie filling. Instead of going to the faire that Lux and I normally go to, and camp at, we wound up staying with friends and attending the faire in Tuxedo.  As time went on after we decided on this change, we felt more and more comfortable with this decision, due to the overall vibe we were getting, and things happening at the local faire. I went up Friday, after the beast got home from school, though Lux didn't make it down until Saturday morning.  Friday was calm, just hanging out and catching up mostly.  The faire was basically a much needed day away for us.  We saw a few people

I've been trying to help Kitty a lot through his current relatioship.  On the bright side, he's actually sharing the things going on with me, so that we can work through them.  After saying it was his preference, he's finally in his first poly relationship (despite how we were in the past, I was never actually his secondary).  He's generally as protective and territorial as I am, which means there's more of a learning curve involved for how to deal with his primary having other partners. And well, she found one.  An old primary of her's, with a history of emotionally abusing her.  Needless to say, that, and the fact that it completely turned their dynamic upside down piqued his jealousy, and he's been trying to work through it. Well, months later, it's still there.  And he knows himself well enough to say that this feeling is caused by the situation, rather than the people involved, so he continues to trudge on.  One of the things that is likely not g

A year and a half ago I started this blog by discussing my dysmorphia.  How I am absolutely my worst critic when it comes to my appearance, and how my body itself causes a lot of mental issues in my life. Well, I've been working on this a lot.  Especially through the current year, I've been focusing on feeling better about how I look, and learning more about my body.  Lux also helps, as frequent groping and nomming is a very positive influence.  I had times at Pennsic where my mind sort of woke up to the fact that I'm going to look very different in period garb than the rest of our camp.  My waist is super tiny, so unless I'm in one of my lacing, fitted gowns, it's going to be baggy in the waist, to fit over my shoulders.  And even with the lace up ones, because of the type of fabric, and period patterns, it's going to bunch near the butt.  This is just a fact, and anyone I saw with a similar build to my own had clothing that fit the exact same way. I've

So, I've managed even with the beast being home for summer, and Pennsic, to keep up with regularly working out.  And, I'm noticing some fun random benefits that have appeared over time. Simple things like my posture are a given.  I'm standing straighter again, and a bit taller, though not enough to be noticeable with how short I am.  It still could be a bit better, but it's getting there with time. More fun though, is random things.  Like how my hips are way more open now, and Lux can not only press my legs back and past my torso without any pain, or even feeling a stretch, but he presses them flat out sometimes, with his weight on me, and even with how broad his hips are (which, boys with hips, omnomnom) I don't feel sore like I used to, at all.  I shall enjoy reaping these benefits, and so does Lux. Also I can finally touch my toes bending forward without being in excruciating pain!  This is seriously something I've never been able to do. I still can't