Last camp, I had mentioned how being there made me feel inspired to switch more. To do more topping, because it is usually what I'm more drawn to.
Coming up to camp, I had made plans to top a few people, and only bottom to one friend as well as my partners, because they obviously would get priority. It had me excited to be embracing my sadist again, though worried about being rusty.
And in standard camp fashion, most of those plans didn't happen. Some did, but several fell to the wayside of either lack of time, or things happening which would not make that play as safe as it should be.
With a random free evening due to some rain, I had the chance to play with Lux. With adjustments we'd talked about previously, and a more serious tone, I got near that floaty spacey state. We both agreed that with loud scenes going on around us in the dungeon, it became distracting for us, and something to keep in mind for the future. Almost an hour he hit me though, in a barrage of fists, floggers, thumpers, and pain. He stopped only because I burst into tears, which he wasn't comfortable with due to how rare that is. I told him I needed a break, but part of me wishes I had asked to keep going. To see how far we could go together, in a space of trust and care.
The next day, in a time that was meant to be set up for a kidnapping, I beat up Dansa. A giggly time where she tried to become a turtle as I punched and pulled and beat on her almost only with my hands. It made me realize how much I love topping again, and that I need to do it more. By the end, I was stopping her, because she hit the point where she was consenting to more than would be safe for her, and made me happy that I keep a clear enough mind in those moments.
I suppose on a similar enough note, I should mention Pyre asking me to work on her back. This is a normal thing for us, but I worked out her legs this time as well. She was screaming so loudly people got many wrong ideas of what was going on, and Kitty and Lux both decided to sing along to bad music the entire time. Naturally, I managed to make her scream along to the music as well. Apparently though, I worked through too much, and her body went into catharsis when I was done, and she needed to have time to process it. She also spent the rest of the week telling me I was the devil. Her back and legs had pretty much every knot worked out though, so I was helping as far as I'm concerned.
And then Saturday night, in an evening that wound up being more of a mess than we had wanted it to be, I had that impact time with a friend. He had wanted to actually experience my pain tolerance since he met me, and heard about how much I can take. So he mentioned wanting to try and break a paddle on me, but first using just floggers and fists. Apparently, I tired out his arms while he ran along, trying to find the end of what I could take. As I stood there, facing away from him while he worked, I couldn't help but feel spoiled by what I get from Lux. There was no variation in this. No technique. Just dropping different floggers on my shoulders, occasionally needing to remind him to move down and not hit my neck. After almost a half hour he stopped because his arms got tired, and moved to the paddle that he had said he wanted to break. I'm uncertain looking back if he did it on purpose, but as soon as he started using force hit with just the edge onto the nerve cluster at the bottom of my sciatica. To be honest, I don't think that he's strong enough to break it, and may have decided to cheat his way into getting me to say we were done.
I had just enough play to learn from. To learn that I have an amazingly talented partner that I need to play with more. That I am spoiled by this skill when it comes to playing with new people. That I shouldn't feel nervous about topping others, and that I should do more of it when I get the chance.
Also I got a new toy that will encourage me to top more because it needs to get so much use.
Coming up to camp, I had made plans to top a few people, and only bottom to one friend as well as my partners, because they obviously would get priority. It had me excited to be embracing my sadist again, though worried about being rusty.
And in standard camp fashion, most of those plans didn't happen. Some did, but several fell to the wayside of either lack of time, or things happening which would not make that play as safe as it should be.
With a random free evening due to some rain, I had the chance to play with Lux. With adjustments we'd talked about previously, and a more serious tone, I got near that floaty spacey state. We both agreed that with loud scenes going on around us in the dungeon, it became distracting for us, and something to keep in mind for the future. Almost an hour he hit me though, in a barrage of fists, floggers, thumpers, and pain. He stopped only because I burst into tears, which he wasn't comfortable with due to how rare that is. I told him I needed a break, but part of me wishes I had asked to keep going. To see how far we could go together, in a space of trust and care.
The next day, in a time that was meant to be set up for a kidnapping, I beat up Dansa. A giggly time where she tried to become a turtle as I punched and pulled and beat on her almost only with my hands. It made me realize how much I love topping again, and that I need to do it more. By the end, I was stopping her, because she hit the point where she was consenting to more than would be safe for her, and made me happy that I keep a clear enough mind in those moments.
I suppose on a similar enough note, I should mention Pyre asking me to work on her back. This is a normal thing for us, but I worked out her legs this time as well. She was screaming so loudly people got many wrong ideas of what was going on, and Kitty and Lux both decided to sing along to bad music the entire time. Naturally, I managed to make her scream along to the music as well. Apparently though, I worked through too much, and her body went into catharsis when I was done, and she needed to have time to process it. She also spent the rest of the week telling me I was the devil. Her back and legs had pretty much every knot worked out though, so I was helping as far as I'm concerned.
And then Saturday night, in an evening that wound up being more of a mess than we had wanted it to be, I had that impact time with a friend. He had wanted to actually experience my pain tolerance since he met me, and heard about how much I can take. So he mentioned wanting to try and break a paddle on me, but first using just floggers and fists. Apparently, I tired out his arms while he ran along, trying to find the end of what I could take. As I stood there, facing away from him while he worked, I couldn't help but feel spoiled by what I get from Lux. There was no variation in this. No technique. Just dropping different floggers on my shoulders, occasionally needing to remind him to move down and not hit my neck. After almost a half hour he stopped because his arms got tired, and moved to the paddle that he had said he wanted to break. I'm uncertain looking back if he did it on purpose, but as soon as he started using force hit with just the edge onto the nerve cluster at the bottom of my sciatica. To be honest, I don't think that he's strong enough to break it, and may have decided to cheat his way into getting me to say we were done.
I had just enough play to learn from. To learn that I have an amazingly talented partner that I need to play with more. That I am spoiled by this skill when it comes to playing with new people. That I shouldn't feel nervous about topping others, and that I should do more of it when I get the chance.
Also I got a new toy that will encourage me to top more because it needs to get so much use.
Comments
Post a Comment