One of the biggest things about this camp, was getting to see Kitty for the first time in way too long. I'd missed him, but at the same time, was trying to make space to be less frustrated with his lack of contact even when we weren't sharing a physical space.
I won't lie and say that I wasn't excited to see him again though. To see if we could fit together the way we always have.
When Pyre went to pick Kitty up from the airport, Lux was also heading to a class a friend was running. I had wanted to go take the class with him, but we all agreed it would be better for me to be a surprise at the airport. I got into the car with Pyre, and while riding off, we had a long talk about some things that need to be addressed soon. While we tossed the idea around of making that happen at camp, it never did.
As we rolled up to the gate, I dove into the back of the car, laying down as flat as I could. I thought he would come up to the back of the car, but instead opened the side door, so I flipped over, poked my head out, and tackled him as I said hello. He was definitely surprised, and after a few more hugs, we went back to camp.
And, unfortunately, Kitty has sort of grown a difficulty in managing poly in person too. He is used to his spouse, which demands attention constantly and so he tries to give Pyre time whenever he isn't doing for his spouse. Because I don't like to be a demanding partner, he got caught up in the event, and giving time to Pyre, and so we barely had time together, and none just to us with no one else around.
It goes onto us both, honestly. He needs to learn that balance, still, all the time. To put something down and say "This needs attention too" even if that thing is himself. I need to learn to pull him from things, and tell him to slow down. To bring his focus to something else, whether for myself or simply to help calm his brain down.
He is still him, and while changes need to happen, he's been around for half of my life, and I know everything is still there.
I won't lie and say that I wasn't excited to see him again though. To see if we could fit together the way we always have.
When Pyre went to pick Kitty up from the airport, Lux was also heading to a class a friend was running. I had wanted to go take the class with him, but we all agreed it would be better for me to be a surprise at the airport. I got into the car with Pyre, and while riding off, we had a long talk about some things that need to be addressed soon. While we tossed the idea around of making that happen at camp, it never did.
As we rolled up to the gate, I dove into the back of the car, laying down as flat as I could. I thought he would come up to the back of the car, but instead opened the side door, so I flipped over, poked my head out, and tackled him as I said hello. He was definitely surprised, and after a few more hugs, we went back to camp.
And, unfortunately, Kitty has sort of grown a difficulty in managing poly in person too. He is used to his spouse, which demands attention constantly and so he tries to give Pyre time whenever he isn't doing for his spouse. Because I don't like to be a demanding partner, he got caught up in the event, and giving time to Pyre, and so we barely had time together, and none just to us with no one else around.
It goes onto us both, honestly. He needs to learn that balance, still, all the time. To put something down and say "This needs attention too" even if that thing is himself. I need to learn to pull him from things, and tell him to slow down. To bring his focus to something else, whether for myself or simply to help calm his brain down.
He is still him, and while changes need to happen, he's been around for half of my life, and I know everything is still there.
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