More Than This

One of my last afternoons at camp a friend walked into the cafe where I was having lunch.  She sat down, and we talked about how Lux and I were some of the only people who knew she was into kink that had met her in another circle because we shared multiple hobbies.  She said that she could tell looking at us that we had some manner of dynamic (though honestly, our power exchange is just about invisible to anyone but us) but I joked about the giant chain around her ankle being a bit obvious on our end.

We spoke about how she isn't out in any other circles, and how she has trouble speaking to vanilla people because she has to keep this side a secret.

And I didn't quite get it.

I run in a ton of circles.  I have older vanilla friends, and find new vanilla people.  I often joke that I can't go anywhere or to anything without running into people I know.

And to some of them I'm out, even if just in knowledge.  We however spend time together like any other people, and enjoy the time we have.  My kink doesn't interfere with those other interests.

And then I flat out said the words, which have resonated with me in many different contexts and situations.

Kink is not everything that I am.  It is only one aspect of me, and doesn't keep me from everything that I enjoy in life.

Which is true, and something I've said in many situations.  About being a parent, or a dancer, or any number of things.

I am a complex person, and I enjoy a lot of things.  That means I meet a lot of people, and we won't always share every interest.  But it's good to enjoy those things you do share, so you can cultivate every aspect of who you are.