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Showing posts from August, 2019

Without Planning or Chaos

I'm home now from my week with Lux, and it was remarkably unremarkable, in the best of ways. There was only one evening where we went out, to a place we had gone to last year, with some excellent food and a long beer list.  We ate far too much food, and enjoyed the place just as much as the first time. Other than that though, it was just calm.  No ton of running around, or events to work.  We took care of our everyday things, and relaxed, and had time together when we could.  We got around to playing a game together that we had intended to for a while, and finally tried the card game I had gotten him for Christmas. Before I went out there I said that I had just wanted a visit with minimal expectation, and just having time together.  We both needed it after how things have been lately.  The summer has been difficult for us, and just time was definitely something necessary. And, while it wasn't some magical experience, it was certainly helpful.  ...

Taking Advantage

Remember that wedding I mentioned dropping out of recently?  The one Lux was also supposed to be in? So, we got the invites. I got mine the day before heading up to Lux's place.  Squishy handed me the envelope, and I see "[Loki Taviel] and Guest" on the front.  Apparently I had a plus one available.  I wondered why it was worded that way, and thought that maybe they just did that for both myself and Lux because my address was more on hand. The next day, I get up to New York, and Lux mentions one of them asking for his address.  Silly situations with this aside, I tell him that I had gotten an invite with a plus one.  We express our confusion, but create a fun idea. Monday morning he tells me he has his invite in the mail, and he also has a plus one. So, fun idea is in motion.  We will each invite an additional member of our polycules, and take over a table making an awkward situation with everyone.  Openly holding hands and being affecti...

A Long Weekend

Dansa's visit was a very highly needed experiment for her.  She brought her new dog with her, and it would be their first time traveling, the dog's longest time around a kid, and the first time Oliver had another dog stay the night. I will preface this by saying that Oliver is the most patient and well behaved puppy ever, and deserves all the hugs and snuggles he could ever want.  He was far better with the whole situation than I ever could have asked from him, and it made me even more appreciative to have him as a furry baby (because it is absolutely how he sees himself). Dansa's pup did alright with Squishy, especially considering that she got a little too excited at times and started treating this pup like Oliver, which is more than most dogs could ever deal with.  I had to tell her to back off a few times, just so pup could wind down a little. That being said, Dansa is remarkably unaware of her dog.  The pup has developed resource aggression over her, becau...

Zero to Sixty

Coming into August, there was very little planned.  The gnome had left the month in the air in regards to taking Squishy, given the hectic nature of the wedding, and said he might only take her for a long weekend.  Camp is the end of summer, right before Squishy starts school, so it isn't an option for me, and means I don't see people there either. Well, after talking to Lux and telling him that the month was empty, I made plans with Dansa.  She said she wanted to come down for a weekend with her new pup, and see how she would get along with Oliver.  That booked up a weekend right in the middle of the month. And a bit over a week ago, the gnome decided he was taking Squishy.  He handed some dates to her without talking to me, and after confronting him to adjust them, which I may talk about later, Squishy agreed to an amount of time she and I both were happier with.  This meant a random week that I wouldn't have a Squishy home. Given how this summer ha...

Abort!

Weekend before last I went to see a friend for the day.  Last year he had asked Lux and I to be in his wedding, and despite the fact that I don't like her, I agreed.  I told them that if at all possible I wanted to be in a suit, and they agreed.  That day, I saw them argue about every little detail of everything. Fast forward a few months, no one has gotten fitted for these suits, but we're all sent links to kilts and jackets on Amazon, and told this is the new plan.  These, while I could attempt to figure out sizing, wouldn't even get close to fitting Lux.  A month later yet, and we're told that they're using one specific kilt shop in Jersey, and everyone needs to go there to get measured. Well, fast forward to a week and a half ago, and no one has gotten measured yet.  They get married in November.  At the same time, every time I talk to them, they can't decide something else.  So without anything ever being solid, and lack of information,...

Unbothered and Unamused

Last weekend the gnome got married, to the girl he only wound up actually seriously dating because he got her pregnant three months after meeting her.  Squishy was involved in the wedding, so this was all I heard about from him for the longest time. A few weeks ago, while picking Squishy up for a visit, he scrolls through his phone, and suddenly gets pissy.  He was throwing a fit, because his niece got a tattoo.  Upset because she should have considered the wedding, and the sleeveless dress.  First, I told him that the artist she wanted may be very difficult to book, and he kept going.  Then, I stopped him, and asked how his wedding gives him agency over her body.  That he shouldn't care about tattoos on her body, because she is who they asked to be there, not her unmarked arm. He shut up, because he realized there was no winning. Moving a bit more forward, just after my birthday, ma's friend came over.  We all sat in the dining room talking, and...

Like People

Last week Squishy, my mom, and I went down to Atlantic City to do some stuff before the gnome's wedding (more on this soon) when Squishy would obviously need to leave and be there.  It was stupidly hot out, but we did our wandering about, and had fun, and Squishy got a bit spooked for no reason, though admitted to enjoying herself. We grabbed some ice cream for the long walk up the boardwalk, and back to the car, though it wasn't enough to keep Squishy or my mom from melting in the heat.  While on the walk though, a younger girl actually stopped me to compliment my makeup.  Considering that I don't do the standard full beat most people do, I appreciated her noticing as she walked past. As she took a few steps away though, I heard ma quietly say in the most demeaning tone "Aw, the little hooker likes your makeup" as though she wasn't even a person. And I stopped her, in the sun, with my daughter right there. I told her that I didn't know what she di...

Examples of Androgyny

When we decided to go to this leather bar, Dansa made a big deal about getting sort of dressed up for it.  She situated herself in layers and harnesses and all manner of things.  I on the other hand, dressed fairly normally for me, in some slightly masculine leaning goth stuff.  In no way was it meant to be seen as sexy, or attention grabbing like she had chosen. While we were there, and she was constantly making her comments that I had mentioned last time, I would often giggle.  As I would turn around in the space, or go walking across the rooftop, I would catch people looking.  And not the normal looks I get due to how I dress.  Obviously looking up from checking out my butt, or looking interested. I kept laughing to myself, because while I have a very feminine body shape, and definitely wasn't trying to pass as male, all those guys who normally are about using their sexual contact toward women as a status symbol were checking me out.  I was r...

Part of the Problem

While up in the city, Dansa and I went to a memorial for a friend who had passed away just before camp.  I had wanted to go to support the people there, and hear the stories, and share some time learning about a person who I didn't have enough time with. This memorial also happened to be in a leather bar.  We had the upper bar before it opened, and then we would have the upstairs as a cigar lounge afterwards.  So after listening and hugging, and remembering so many things, the bar was actually open, with music playing, and other people being allowed in. And so, as we made our way up to the top floor, I kept hearing Dansa making comments about how wonderful the bar was because of all the topless men, and the gay porn playing on the tvs all around. I was very clearly reminded of the comments she had made about Lux, where she had plainly stated that she wasn't attracted to him until she had a pansexual partner, and then wanted to see them together.  Her fetishizat...