When we decided to go to this leather bar, Dansa made a big deal about getting sort of dressed up for it. She situated herself in layers and harnesses and all manner of things. I on the other hand, dressed fairly normally for me, in some slightly masculine leaning goth stuff. In no way was it meant to be seen as sexy, or attention grabbing like she had chosen.
While we were there, and she was constantly making her comments that I had mentioned last time, I would often giggle. As I would turn around in the space, or go walking across the rooftop, I would catch people looking. And not the normal looks I get due to how I dress. Obviously looking up from checking out my butt, or looking interested.
I kept laughing to myself, because while I have a very feminine body shape, and definitely wasn't trying to pass as male, all those guys who normally are about using their sexual contact toward women as a status symbol were checking me out. I was reminded of all the times Lux and I only partly joke that we're just an old gay couple. And it was amusing, that while Dansa drooled and hemmed and hawed, I was apparently just androgynous to count as a gay man in the eyes of the Eagle.
It was satisfying, in a lot of ways. Affirming to me as someone Agender, and as someone who admits to being far more masculine leaning. Amusing, that while with a full face of makeup, and jeans that showed off my hips and butt, I still flagged as masculine. Appreciative of the fact that they could tell I wasn't there objectifying all of them for being gay.
It was a great example of the space I exist in, and how it isn't always a challenge. Sometimes I get reminders that I am really aware of who I am, and the energy I put off.
And sometimes I learn that Lux and I really are only barely joking about being an old gay couple.
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