I think I've mentioned on here for the entire life of this blog how my parents treat me, and even when in front of each other, it's almost encouraged. Especially though, in the behaviors of my father. I likely have a record counting several times a week of my telling Lux when my father shows abusive behavior towards me.
Well, the other day I was having breakfast, and heard him yelling at my mom, in a very similar way that he does to me all the time. When I went to take care of my dishes, he started blaming a ton of things on me that I hadn't done, and screaming at me for them. When I started calmly saying I wasn't responsible for any of it, but was still starting to go through the motions to fix it, he cut me off, yelling at me to shut up, and how he was "sick of this constantly from such a bitchy piece of shit".
Because he was yelling it right in front of my mom, she couldn't claim she didn't hear. Unfortunately, rather than flat out telling him that everything he was doing was wrong, and probably shouldn't call his kid a piece of shit, she just asked why he was so grumpy. I was a little pissed with her response, because it was so benign in the scale of things, but at least she responded this time.
I went to go get some things done, and then my mom asked if I wanted to run out with her really quickly. Obviously, I jumped on the chance to get away from him and the situation.
In the car, she mentioned something about not knowing what had gotten into him that day. I flat out told her that this wasn't new behavior, and I was used to him treating me this way. She started to say that he was like this right after he injured himself, and I cut her off, saying that this was a near daily thing for years. She questioned it, and I persisted. Told her that I was simply used to it as a baseline from him. She didn't really know what to say. I mentioned how often he does it in front of her, and the things he says, and what she just lets him get away with. I mentioned how I take it all without yelling back, and that maybe she should think about how I have to process that all constantly, without her believing me, or dismissing me like it's my fault. She cut me off there saying that I can't say anything to him because it just makes it worse.
I told her that I've had to be on eggshells every day due to him for years, and I saw on her face how it was kicking in. At the same time she just said there was nothing she could do. That she couldn't kick him out because she couldn't afford the house on her own.
And it was then, that I think my mom, after over forty years of marriage, realized she was in an abusive relationship, and encouraged abuse. I don't think it's completely clicked, but I do think that gear is turning.
Well, the other day I was having breakfast, and heard him yelling at my mom, in a very similar way that he does to me all the time. When I went to take care of my dishes, he started blaming a ton of things on me that I hadn't done, and screaming at me for them. When I started calmly saying I wasn't responsible for any of it, but was still starting to go through the motions to fix it, he cut me off, yelling at me to shut up, and how he was "sick of this constantly from such a bitchy piece of shit".
Because he was yelling it right in front of my mom, she couldn't claim she didn't hear. Unfortunately, rather than flat out telling him that everything he was doing was wrong, and probably shouldn't call his kid a piece of shit, she just asked why he was so grumpy. I was a little pissed with her response, because it was so benign in the scale of things, but at least she responded this time.
I went to go get some things done, and then my mom asked if I wanted to run out with her really quickly. Obviously, I jumped on the chance to get away from him and the situation.
In the car, she mentioned something about not knowing what had gotten into him that day. I flat out told her that this wasn't new behavior, and I was used to him treating me this way. She started to say that he was like this right after he injured himself, and I cut her off, saying that this was a near daily thing for years. She questioned it, and I persisted. Told her that I was simply used to it as a baseline from him. She didn't really know what to say. I mentioned how often he does it in front of her, and the things he says, and what she just lets him get away with. I mentioned how I take it all without yelling back, and that maybe she should think about how I have to process that all constantly, without her believing me, or dismissing me like it's my fault. She cut me off there saying that I can't say anything to him because it just makes it worse.
I told her that I've had to be on eggshells every day due to him for years, and I saw on her face how it was kicking in. At the same time she just said there was nothing she could do. That she couldn't kick him out because she couldn't afford the house on her own.
And it was then, that I think my mom, after over forty years of marriage, realized she was in an abusive relationship, and encouraged abuse. I don't think it's completely clicked, but I do think that gear is turning.
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