I was watching something a few weeks ago, and there was a specific scene that stood out to me. Something that set up conflict between two other characters, while showing the declining state of one of them. And in that scene, I remember seeing one of those characters being a downright amazing actor, and showing some intense sexual energy and attraction to someone else.
And the processes in my brain were so clear to me. Given the state I was in, my first reaction was how much I wanted that directed towards me. I wondered why I didn't get that. It lasted a moment or so, before my mind practically shot a spotlight on all the things that did express just that when I saw Lux last, and that I do have that exact thing in my life, just not regularly, because we have to deal with distance, and life.
I've been using mental exploration as a way to get better, but I'm definitely not there yet. However, this was such a blatant example of how mental state can affect the things you choose to acknowledge.
When you're in the dark, your mind lies to you. Creates stories to maintain sadness despite the positive that's there.
And the processes in my brain were so clear to me. Given the state I was in, my first reaction was how much I wanted that directed towards me. I wondered why I didn't get that. It lasted a moment or so, before my mind practically shot a spotlight on all the things that did express just that when I saw Lux last, and that I do have that exact thing in my life, just not regularly, because we have to deal with distance, and life.
I've been using mental exploration as a way to get better, but I'm definitely not there yet. However, this was such a blatant example of how mental state can affect the things you choose to acknowledge.
When you're in the dark, your mind lies to you. Creates stories to maintain sadness despite the positive that's there.
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