A New Devious Chapter

 It's the time of year that even though there's new things coming out, and I should be getting caught up on media for other writing projects, I've been wanting to rewatch a lot of things I enjoy.  Spooky Halloween movies, old comfort things, just wanting to return to what I've seen, rather than the constant intake of new stimulus. And when I check these out again, I find myself remembering how many of the characters I enjoy.  How many of these characters all of bits of similarity.  More importantly, how many of these characters in many ways shaped who I am. I never identified with princesses and heroes.  I found myself liking the characters who were having fun.  The ones that thrived in chaos, and may have been villains in some cases, but when the cards were down, often found themselves having solidly good qualities.  Over the years, as much as I've grown with time, that's never not been the case for me.  No matter what happens, I've always tried ...

 I found myself missing people the other day.  Missing Felix, and Frankie, people who left, and people who tore themselves away.  I miss the connections we had, whether the ones we'd built, or the ones we intended to. And perhaps it's the time of year.  Next month marks seventeen years since Frankie passed away, and with all the shadowcasts of Rocky Horror happening for Halloween, I can't help but think of Felix, after he spent the majority of his life doing it.   It makes me a little sad, especially after spending a weekend with Puppy after so long.  If he and I could get back to the friendship we had in twenty four hours, but with far more maturity and knowledge that we'd gained during the years apart, it makes me wonder what I would have with any of them.  If it was for the best that they're gone, or we drifted apart, or if either of us just needed to grow a little more. Interestingly enough, I am well enough adjusted with this to not miss peop...

 I'm pretty sure I mentioned a beach episode a couple of weeks ago, and looking forward to it for a myriad of reasons.  That I had wanted to take advantage of a long weekend, see Lux after not getting to for a couple of months, and have a good reset.  He unfortunately hasn't been feeling well though, and couldn't join us, so we decided to postpone. And so I was left with a long weekend and no plans. I poked around a little, to no avail, trying to find a way to take advantage of this time, and enjoy some company. Meanwhile, a Puppy friend of mine and I have been slowly talking more over the last year.  We had a falling out due to things that happened on both our parts, which caused us to have a divide for a good while.  He's also had a hell of a year, with going through a hard breakup with someone who fucked him over mentally, got injured and needed surgery, started juggling both school and work, and just recently is dealing with loss.  I've tried to be more...

 For the first time here, I am gonna be writing about some spoilers. Last summer, I picked up watching Lucifer.  At the recommendation of Kitty, I dove in, and found it entertaining.  At that point, I was only able to watch up to the first half of season five, but looked forward to seeing the other half, and then the final season, wondering how it would be tied up. And recently, the final season did drop.  It took me a bit, but I finally got to it, watching it over the course of a week or so.  There were some incredibly vital themes to it that I loved, including covering things like systemic racism, racial profiling, police brutality, and corruption. However, the main theme of the season left me feeling many things. Lucifer's daughter from the future apparently gets so angry with him that she travels back in time.  She confronts him, ready to kill him, but instead gives him a chance, telling him that he abandons her for her entire life.  Over the cours...

 I was recently talking to a vanilla friend who went through a hard breakup last year.  While chatting about various things, he mentioned acknowledging that he's polyamorous, and intending to explore that space once he's ready to date again.  I extended the offer to share what I know, my experiences, and help him sort of navigate what he thinks he's looking for before he actually starts looking, so it's easier for him to be clear with any possible future partners. And then I mentioned to him something that I hadn't really considered.  With dumping Kitty, and only having one partner, it's strangely going to make it more difficult to find additional partners.  One very long term partner can be intimidating to other people, who may think they're going to be tossed aside, or treated like they're unimportant next to the older partner.  It doesn't matter that they're wrong, and it shows that they aren't worth trying with, but it's a logical tho...

 A lot is happening.  I'm trying to juggle it all while still processing what happened a couple of weeks ago. While dealing with my parents, I'm finally getting around to launching the audio project I wanted to start earlier this year.  I decided not to wait until I could get a better mic, and instead started recording with the headset I have, and learning how to edit as I go.  The more I record, the better I'm getting at pacing things out, and learning how to be better at both the recording process, and the editing process.  Posting the first one wasn't the easiest thing ever, because ko-fi wound up being incredibly difficult despite my expectations for the platform.  However, I'd like to figure out how to do more there, so hopefully they get their shit figured out sooner rather than later.   I'm redrawing many of my books so that I can sell them in a digital format.  That, combined with not having to offer them on amazon will hopefully help...

 When I was younger, I remember enjoying being angry all the time.  With how my life at home has always been, I realize more and more that anger was the only thing that I was generally free to feel, because I was being put through so much else. And as I've gotten older, I didn't want to feel angry all the time.  I wanted to find joy in things, and learn to acknowledge the things I deal with, but find balance, and allow myself happiness where I could find it.  It resulted in me feeling angry far less, and subsequently feeling better about myself in the long run, wanting to take care of myself far more than I had been. This year however, has brought me more rage than I have felt in so long.  Between the beginning of the year, which I posted about, and how people have been behaving overall, I'm just sitting at a simmer of anger at everything. While looking at Twitter, I found someone saying that unvaccinated people were being treated like Jews in the holocaust....