A New Devious Chapter

One of the things that I had had to deal with quite a bit as camp went on was people assuming the chain I wear every day was a collar to Lux. Part of my normal jewelry is a piece of elfweave chain I made that fits like a choker.  It was probably the most difficult chain I ever made when I started on it, but it looks complex and pretty, so I wear it every day. And being where we were, a lot of people assumed it was a collar.  That either Lux had made it, or we had gotten it made as a symbol of our exchange. I corrected them over most of the weekend.  Saying that I had made it myself, and it was simply a fun project that I like wearing.  It left a lot of people confused as to our dynamic, but I think that'll be covered in the future. Just before we left, as I was showing Lux the new toys I got, a couple we had talked to on and off was there, and I had to explain that they were for me to use, rather than just him.  They were suddenly drawn toward the idea of me as a top, and t

I'm back from my first Fusion, and feeling better about it the longer I look at it.  There was good and bad, and the event was very different for both Lux and I just due to how we kept somewhat different schedules with my having classes to manage and all. Lux came in from Austin where he was training for his new job.  He showed up at my doorstep in a suit, and if we didn't have a two hour drive ahead of us, that suit would have been a mess shortly after seeing him. The ride was fairly uneventful, with the exception of us making the same mistake we always do when we make a trip west.  We will inevitably do the same thing in a month come Pennsic. Getting there, I got a very similar feeling to Pennsic, but on a much smaller scale.  It felt comfortable, and despite everything, I had no problem walking around Fusion by myself at night. Thursday Lux met Pyre for the first time, and I met a bunch of the fire team.  While awkward at first, they let me open up by the end of the

This is my last post that I prepped before heading to Fusion, and since I'm writing this up so close to going, I've had plenty of time to talk about, and think about the event prior to, and all the emotions leading up to it. Lux and I have talked several times about our feelings in regards to camp.  We've had a lot of issues with registrations and such given my being staff, and Lux being... called dibs on as a strong pretty menfolk helper.  It's been a bit of frustration, but not something that can slow us down. We're both excited.  It's a new thing for us both, we each have plans, and are getting to see people and do things we haven't in a while.  We are used to going to events together, and each doing our own thing, and making sure to spend time with the other.  It's something we've just been able to do, and that works really well for us.  We're also worried.  It being so new, we don't quite know how this event will work for us in par

I had a question put in my mind the other day, that I realized is something I hadn't had to put much thought into before. As someone Agender, am I trans? A lot of people put nonbinary genders into the same category as trans.  That anything that isn't cisgender falls under that umbrella.  The idea that trans just means not matching your identity given at birth. I'm not sure if I like that though.  It doesn't give transgender people a real identity, but simply says they can fall anywhere on this scale.  And for people who are very solidly on one end of that scale, it does them a disservice. So I look at that scale, from masculine to feminine, with male and female underneath, to show how you may match that birth assignment. I'm ok with saying I'm female, and female bodied.  I don't feel like that defines me, though it does affect me.  Many people treat tiny females with a specific expectation, and that's just their first impression of anyone.  Jus

I'm on the way to Fusion today! I'll be teaching two classes, and playing with others, and spending time with Lux.  I'll also be performing, helping the fire team, and exploring. I've been spending a lot of time putting together classes, and music, and packing, and prepping.  That's not all that's gone on in the last couple weeks for me though.  I published two new coloring books!  They're both out, and I have the groundwork set to start a few new ones over the summer. I also got a new prompt journal that plays with a fun writing exercise to publish as soon as I'm home.  I started playing more with how I work out every day, because time is still a little wonky unfortunately. There's also been some other things that you'll hear about soon. It's been a productive month.  I'm feeling like I have better support, and good people around.  I'm feeling like I'm doing more, and even if this isn't something huge, I'm

Lux asked me a couple weeks ago if I wanted to accompany him to a wedding he was in last weekend.  It happened to be a weekend that I was without a Squishy, so I said I would be his plus one, and we could spend some time together before Fusion.  Well, after a week of trying to figure out details, Lux made his way down after the rehearsal.  We had joked a day or two before that whenever we spend time together, we need to do prep work.  Drinking extra water, stretching, cardio, all an amusing number of things to need to do knowing our own marathon habits. Well, the entire weekend was busy.  The wedding went smoothly, with the exception of Lux's suit exploding on the dance floor.  He kept said that it fit poorly, and then tried to squat while dancing, and poof.  We thought about trying to get through dinner, but that wasn't going to happen.  Just as food was being brought out, we went back to the hotel, where Lux did a full squat, just for the full range of pants explosion, be

I've been waiting to see how this resolved to post on it.  This is a bit of a big one. A few weeks ago, Kitty was telling me that he had a long night with Fox, after they had done a full week of overnights, and not much sleep.  They were depressed, and not in a good mental state. Well, that weekend only got worse. It wound up with not feeling safe to have Fox home, and they wound up having them put somewhere. A few days later there was no improvements.  A week later, they were brought home because the facility was fucking some things up. All the while, everyone is in crisis mode, afraid to try and relax, and Kitty of course taking too much blame for himself.  Needless to say, I spent that time wishing I was there to try and get them both to take care of themselves.  To help where I could, and be my normal jewish mother self. Well, it's finally in some form of resolution, and now it appears Kitty isn't attending Fusion at all because he isn't up to being