About a week ago I went onto Facebook.
At the top of my feed, was a picture memory. A photo of a shoot I had done to help a photographer in the area who was starting a new project. I was in some amount of dance stuff, and I saw how my body has changed over the years, and how I presented my body.
And yes, my body has changed. I some ways that I'm both happy, and unhappy with, even without my dysmorphia speaking for me. I also present myself a bit differently. And I noticed that as I went into all my old pictures. Looking at the things I had changed that I thought I needed to do differently in order feel more put together.
I noticed, looking at those pictures, exactly what I was trying to change about my body when I made that change, and wondered if I was helping or hindering with what I had done. Was I making the change in my body more noticeable, or was I actually avoiding the look that I feared due to my dysmorphia.
The thoughts and concepts spun in my head, but not in a bad way. In a way that made me curious. Willing to try things, and see if, along with the better habits I've been building, I can feel better about the body I'm in.
Maybe self care can be as simple trying a different type of clothing.
At the top of my feed, was a picture memory. A photo of a shoot I had done to help a photographer in the area who was starting a new project. I was in some amount of dance stuff, and I saw how my body has changed over the years, and how I presented my body.
And yes, my body has changed. I some ways that I'm both happy, and unhappy with, even without my dysmorphia speaking for me. I also present myself a bit differently. And I noticed that as I went into all my old pictures. Looking at the things I had changed that I thought I needed to do differently in order feel more put together.
I noticed, looking at those pictures, exactly what I was trying to change about my body when I made that change, and wondered if I was helping or hindering with what I had done. Was I making the change in my body more noticeable, or was I actually avoiding the look that I feared due to my dysmorphia.
The thoughts and concepts spun in my head, but not in a bad way. In a way that made me curious. Willing to try things, and see if, along with the better habits I've been building, I can feel better about the body I'm in.
Maybe self care can be as simple trying a different type of clothing.
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