A New Devious Chapter

 While normally I would use this week to talk about all the things I'm grateful for over the course of the year, I had an entertaining conversation that made me realize something a couple of weeks back that fits here instead. One of those things I should have realized was a sign towards my gender was that most of my friends were guys growing up.  Once I hit about nine years old, the balance slowly shifted from having an all female friend group, to only having one or two friends who were girls, and all the rest were boys.  Likewise, as I got older, and went and did more, I wound up forming friendships with guys who were older. And yes, my parents went through the overly paranoid phase of thinking they would all take advantage of me, or use me for ulterior motives within a month or so of being friends.  That they were all going to hurt me, and were dangerous, and weren't actually friends.  But then they stuck around.  Not only that, but I took a role of being...

 Near the beginning of the month, Lux and I had a conversation about the idea of No Nut November.  That doing things like forcing orgasms, or prohibiting them shouldn't happen, because it stifles us being our sexual selves, in either direction.   And while yes, we should be free to be whoever we are sexually, I think taking chunks of time to explore things with a different framework can be beneficial.  Much like how over the years, I've found more enjoyment out of several holidays, by utilizing them in ways that are far from what we've been taught is standard. Rather than a full month of abstinence from all sexual contact, maybe we need a month where we simply remove orgasm.  To encourage contact, physical intimacy, and sex, but without the pressure to have it result in cumming.  Rather than a limit, to look at it as a time to explore, enjoy, and bond without that race to the finish that most people find in sex. For so many people the bar to aim for is...

 I've been rewatching Buffy over the last couple of weeks.  A full watch of the series, in order, which is something I don't think I've ever actually done.  It's been good seeing that some of my favorite things are still great, that there are some parts I'm still not fond of, and seeing just how low budget many parts of this were. But one plot device made me more annoyed than anything, especially with what they continued to do with it as the series went on. In Season two, the big bad was Angelus.  The true vampire mind of Buffy's boyfriend, Angel, once the soul cursed upon him was removed.  Buffy needs to confront her boyfriend, who is now a merciless sadist, bent on destroying the world, and trying to drive people to madness in the process. The thing that broke the curse mind you, was one moment of true happiness.  Otherwise he would be forced to constantly suffer with the possession of a soul. And the thing that causes that happiness?  Taking Buffy's...

 Normally this week, I would want to try to spend time with Lux, and I do, but with him dealing with some things, he didn't have the spoons to have me there for a week and take care of planning and such.  Not wanting to lose out on seeing someone during Halloween weekend, I wanted to still do something.  Puppy asked about my availability in the next few weeks, so we decided to spend the last weekend together, because we both needed some calm hangout time with things going on, or things that will happen. So on a rainy night, we made the trek back out to Philly again.  We had no real plans, just that we wanted to have some drinks, he had school work to do, and we would relax together. He asked if I wanted to go do anything for Halloween, and I told him that I still wasn't comfortable with big gatherings yet, especially out where people would potentially be unmasked.  Top that with the number of accidents we saw on our way back from grabbing bagels, and we were qui...

 It's the time of year that even though there's new things coming out, and I should be getting caught up on media for other writing projects, I've been wanting to rewatch a lot of things I enjoy.  Spooky Halloween movies, old comfort things, just wanting to return to what I've seen, rather than the constant intake of new stimulus. And when I check these out again, I find myself remembering how many of the characters I enjoy.  How many of these characters all of bits of similarity.  More importantly, how many of these characters in many ways shaped who I am. I never identified with princesses and heroes.  I found myself liking the characters who were having fun.  The ones that thrived in chaos, and may have been villains in some cases, but when the cards were down, often found themselves having solidly good qualities.  Over the years, as much as I've grown with time, that's never not been the case for me.  No matter what happens, I've always tried ...

 I found myself missing people the other day.  Missing Felix, and Frankie, people who left, and people who tore themselves away.  I miss the connections we had, whether the ones we'd built, or the ones we intended to. And perhaps it's the time of year.  Next month marks seventeen years since Frankie passed away, and with all the shadowcasts of Rocky Horror happening for Halloween, I can't help but think of Felix, after he spent the majority of his life doing it.   It makes me a little sad, especially after spending a weekend with Puppy after so long.  If he and I could get back to the friendship we had in twenty four hours, but with far more maturity and knowledge that we'd gained during the years apart, it makes me wonder what I would have with any of them.  If it was for the best that they're gone, or we drifted apart, or if either of us just needed to grow a little more. Interestingly enough, I am well enough adjusted with this to not miss peop...

 I'm pretty sure I mentioned a beach episode a couple of weeks ago, and looking forward to it for a myriad of reasons.  That I had wanted to take advantage of a long weekend, see Lux after not getting to for a couple of months, and have a good reset.  He unfortunately hasn't been feeling well though, and couldn't join us, so we decided to postpone. And so I was left with a long weekend and no plans. I poked around a little, to no avail, trying to find a way to take advantage of this time, and enjoy some company. Meanwhile, a Puppy friend of mine and I have been slowly talking more over the last year.  We had a falling out due to things that happened on both our parts, which caused us to have a divide for a good while.  He's also had a hell of a year, with going through a hard breakup with someone who fucked him over mentally, got injured and needed surgery, started juggling both school and work, and just recently is dealing with loss.  I've tried to be more...