A New Devious Chapter

 I think I've mentioned lately that I'm making a lot more things.  My books for the entire year are nearly done, and so I'm taking on more things that have me creating again.   My friend Scar, who I recently took on as a student has a store where she sells some wellness products, metaphysical goodies, and a handful of other things has said that she'll sell my chainmail, as well as potentially other things as well.  We worked out a consignment price, and just using the rings I had on hand, made her more than she said she would be able to display at a single event. I've also been doing some freelance art, which has me working with mediums that I haven't gotten to in a long time. It has me busy, which is a good thing, but certainly at a point where I'm taking on as much as I can, with all the other things happening right now.  I'm still motivated and inspired, but at the same time, I feel like I need to be constantly working on something.  When I'm not

 A few weeks ago, my vaccine was cooked, and I finally had the safety to go and see people again.  I didn't know who I would get to see or when, but that option was there.  And when Squishy was with the gnome for a weekend, and we had started making plans for the summer and such, I knew I was going to have a few days available over Memorial day. Most of the people I would have wanted to see were already busy, or would be getting home in the middle of that weekend, but as soon as I mentioned it to Dansa, she said she only had plans for a few hours one day.  I offered to pup-sit for her, and we had plans. It didn't kick in until the next day, that after two years, I'd be able to go up to the city and see her again.  That there was an end to this, and that I was making my way back to getting to really live again.  I would get to see people, and hug them, and be safe around my friends.  When that thought really hit, I got a little overwhelmed.  It took me a bit to process that

 I have a weekly call with Pyre.  Some weeks obviously it doesn't work, but we try to get in a video date every week to catch up and still have some easily digestible social time.  And while we were on a call two weeks ago, we were talking about camp.  That it was supposed to happen late summer, and that we were both rather decidedly not feeling ok with going this year. The call continued, and at a certain point someone in a group chat we're both in shared a screenshot of an announcement for camp in a few months.  And as I checked Fet and saw so many people responding and saying they were attending, I just felt very firmly like I didn't want to be there yet. I mentioned it to Lux, and he told me that he was conflicted.  That he wanted to trust the CDC, but also didn't feel safe. And I don't blame him. I think it's very normal right now to not feel safe with such a large gathering of people as camp.  Something with hundreds of people, all performing various activ

 I haven't gotten to talk a lot on just general update things in a while, because I was pre-writing entries. And oof, there's been a lot, and much of it is pretty good. I've been able to stick to working out almost every day, and I've noticed myself making progress with a lot of things.  I have more energy in my day, and it helps me focus and feel better.  Likewise, it's helping me build a small bit of muscle, and get into better shape.  Trying to drop weight has slowed to a crawl, but overall I'm feeling better about my body. And on the idea of getting into better shape, I've started helping my friend Scar with her attempt to get healthier as well.  She was trying to go way too hard in the beginning, and it didn't stick for the most part, but I've been putting together personal workout sessions that will teach her belly dance, as well as be functional physical therapy, and encourage more movement into her day.  She's enjoying, and refused to do

 As of last weekend, my covid vaccine is cooked and in effect.  I'm now feeling ready to go and do some more things that haven't been safe for the last year plus, while still being careful to protect everyone else.  I'm looking forward to soon seeing some people I've missed, and having more options in front of me to be able to hug friends again. I'm looking forward to finding out when Squishy will be able to get her vaccine, and we are both hoping she'll be able to get at least one shot before the next school year begins.  She's been feeling a little disappointed about not being able to get vaccinated herself, which I appreciate.  While my parents may not take any of this seriously, even still, she finally has been on quite a few things, which is good. Likewise, with my father being in the hospital, he was told that he wasn't in good enough shape to get the vaccine right away.  This week he is supposed to meet with his doctor, and he'll find out if h

 There's a lot of ways to go about being poly.  The process of having multiple partners means that you have an infinite number of factors to try and go about in a way that makes everyone happy.  While there's certainly some ways that are wrong to go about it, there's no one way that's exactly right. It was a good while back now, but it had me thinking about the idea of hierarchical poly.  Giving one partner a position and title different from another, changing levels of priority and expectation between them.  And while it's certainly not wrong, there are some people that don't like it, because they don't like that level of comparison or feeling less than anyone else. But, I think that those places will sort of happen with any polycule over time.  The demands of our lives are different, and so we seek varying things from each of our partners.  Trying to give each person the time and focus of a primary partner would take every bit of our days, leaving no time

 Sometimes, I have thoughts that pop into my head that no matter where I look, can't find what brought it on.  My mind then explores it, and tries to take it apart, and I wind up in a weird sort of space where I question a lot of things. And one night, I was contemplating gender, and what can affect it.  More specifically, our closed ideas of gender roles.  From the moment most people are born, they're told how to look, what to think, what to enjoy and how to behave purely by the genitals they have.  They're put in boxes with labels and requirements that we press on them, creating expectations that may not have anything to do with who a person is, or even healthy behaviors. It's why we have the insecure concepts of fragile toxic masculinity, like my brother refusing to use a lip balm, even if his lips were bleeding, because it might be mistaken as makeup and feminine.  Which got me thinking, if we weren't forcing thoughts on kids, and these specific ideas of what a