A New Devious Chapter

 We come upon another new year with the high holidays rolling through.  This year started out oddly, and certainly didn't wind up like a normal year, but was a good change of pace.  With having a Jewish partner, it means that rather than navigating things like Christmas or Easter, we need to sort out the many Jewish holidays, on who goes where, and how we celebrate. My family as a whole more or less has been threatened by their doctor to finally behave like diabetics, and so they've been much more strict with their diet.  Going up to the holidays, as my mother makes the exact same things for every holiday she was incredibly clueless.  When I offered to make two or three things (which she wouldn't have to put in any work for) she tried to stop me from cooking, and I said that it would be a hell of a lot cheaper than buying seven little containers of each tiny thing.  That made her quiet down, and so it very clearly became another holiday that I would cook everything for, and

 A year ago we were a mess of conversation and unsureness.  Rabbit had nervously pushed out the words to say that he had feelings for me, and we spent the following weeks discussing the things we thought we wanted or needed.  There were conversations about fears, obstacles, concerns, and many other things to lay down groundwork of a clear and healthy foundation. It was also the birth of things like Team Ice Cream, threatening to run away to Germany, and being doomed all over the world.  Ultimately, he laid the final decision in my hand each time, and I not only decided that we needed to give things a try, but likewise that we needed to ignore the timeline that we had wound up putting in someone else's hands.  It's a good thing that I did the latter too, because it would have meant waiting until late spring to officially be together at all. And so we began the last year.  A year of discovery, pain, change, difficulty, work, and stress.  We've had health issues, trauma trigge

 I wasn't back for long, and the state that I was in before rushing off to Rabbit's came right back.  Just after getting home was my sister's birthday, and I had to do everything for it, because no one else knew how.  While I was in the middle of putting that together, I let Oliver out, and he got some baby birds, so while cooking, the old man was yelling at me for not being outside with him.  As though I could do both.  That day didn't get much easier, but in the following days, things got worse.   My parents were treating me like I had to be constantly doing six things for them at all times, without any real break.  At the same time, I was trying to get Squishy through the end of summer, and the first days of school, and try to keep up with all my stores and channels.  To top it off, Rabbit has things going on at home that I was helping maintain, but I wasn't able to completely solve them, and now he's unable to keep up with the maintenance while dealing with

While Rabbit is trying to heal, there are times when he needs to be able to stretch for the comfort of his leg and back, and he is choosing to do that in VR.  He can feel like he's running and jumping around like a normal person.  Evenings in particular are difficult for him, as his back is strained from going about the day.  This means that most of the night I would be alone while at his place. At the same time, I needed to be on top of my sleep schedule due to Squishy starting school soon.  I was making sure to go to bed by a certain time, and had an alarm for far earlier than Rabbit was waking up.  In some ways, this was nice, because I was able to get a lot of my work done in this time, without having to enforce that time alone.  It however meant that outside of going to appointments, or running errands together, we had little more than mealtimes sharing space, and with both of us being home, and it being my last long stint there for a while, I was feeling a little lonely. I sa

 One of the things that I was concerned about with this last visit to Rabbit's, especially with his still being injured, was getting to be able to get work done.  I'm used to holing up at his place when he has a long work day, but having to get things done with him there hasn't worked the best in the past.  Between wanting to spend time with each other, him not being able to do much without my being present, and things going on in the house that have some spaces less friendly right now, I was incredibly worried about getting things done. The last visit, when he first wound up out of work resulted in me not getting anything done other than necessary product postings for two weeks.  I couldn't take that time off again, knowing that while I was ahead on some things, I was also quickly catching up to deadlines on others.  It wasn't going to look good if this visit also resulted in my not being able to get things made and done.  So I told him leading up to the visit, tha

 I got home from my long visit with Rabbit and found myself missing him, despite all the anxiety and lack of space due to his injury and being out of work.  At the same time, I was swamped with things at home and the stress there.  Top that off with needing to catch up from two weeks of not working, and it meant I was no recovering well from the mental state I went home in.  For several days I barely got anything I needed to finished at all, just because I was being dragged around for whatever my parents wanted. After about the first week, I managed to be able to get some work in though, and was getting back to some routine.  I was just about on top of things as much as I needed to be, and then things changed.  Rabbit had people moving in and out of the house, who weren't doing anything near what they needed to.  He couldn't move much, or lift anything, which had him feeling horrible, and didn't help the situation we were trying to get out of. On my end, while trying to get

 After waiting and contemplating, I pulled the trigger.  I spent a miniscule amount next to most, but ordered one of the most important things I probably ever would.  They were coming from Ukraine, which I found endearing considering the current situation, and the shipping window meant I could reliably have them sent to Rabbit's address, and know they would show up while I was there. And then, the wait.  We knew about them, and I told him about it, which had him exceedingly joyful despite the pain he was in.  I then had the moments where the excitement wore down, and I learned how much that love ebbs and flows as a choice, and one I found myself continuing to happily make rather than simply being attached.  Weeks went on, and then I went off to Rabbit's, wondering still when they would show up. A few days later, I got notice that they were delayed by a few days.  Worry set in, due to the delivery window.  I didn't want them to show up right after I went home, and have to ha