A New Devious Chapter

 Recently, Rabbit and I had our one year anniversary.  For the first time in so, so very long, I got to celebrate the length of a relationship.  As much as we have both certainly learned that the health and quality of connection mean more than the timespan, it felt good to celebrate a year passing in the way that it has.  There's been so much in the last year, and so much that we've learned and healed just by being together that this one felt big. We started the weekend with Rabbit still feeling a little guilty that we had to change plans.  Initially I had gotten us a little private cottage and we were going to go to a renaissance faire where one of my favorite drum and pipe bands was performing.  With his back however, we scratched that, and I cancelled the reservation, opting instead to get a room in a nearby historic town we've been meaning to visit together, which would be much less traveling and walking, so thereby easier on his back and legs.  I didn't care that w

 Since coming back from my last long visit to Rabbit's, there has been a lot going on, but also a return to routine with the school year starting.  It's been helpful in a lot of ways because it gives me some set time to get work done, and get through everything on my list, rather than just trying to cram things in while everyone is demanding my time. And because of that, I can get more done, and really sort out all of my priorities, as well as look at the things that will be more worth my time in the coming weeks and months.  When I know I have set time to do things, I can often get what would three weeks worth of work while at Rabbit's place all done in four days at home. So with that, I've managed in the first few weeks of September to get my youtube channel set for the rest of the calendar year.  All the audio is done, and the videos are rendered and uploaded.  It's a major thing off my list, and I have the beginning of the year planned in a way that will make it

 We come upon another new year with the high holidays rolling through.  This year started out oddly, and certainly didn't wind up like a normal year, but was a good change of pace.  With having a Jewish partner, it means that rather than navigating things like Christmas or Easter, we need to sort out the many Jewish holidays, on who goes where, and how we celebrate. My family as a whole more or less has been threatened by their doctor to finally behave like diabetics, and so they've been much more strict with their diet.  Going up to the holidays, as my mother makes the exact same things for every holiday she was incredibly clueless.  When I offered to make two or three things (which she wouldn't have to put in any work for) she tried to stop me from cooking, and I said that it would be a hell of a lot cheaper than buying seven little containers of each tiny thing.  That made her quiet down, and so it very clearly became another holiday that I would cook everything for, and

 A year ago we were a mess of conversation and unsureness.  Rabbit had nervously pushed out the words to say that he had feelings for me, and we spent the following weeks discussing the things we thought we wanted or needed.  There were conversations about fears, obstacles, concerns, and many other things to lay down groundwork of a clear and healthy foundation. It was also the birth of things like Team Ice Cream, threatening to run away to Germany, and being doomed all over the world.  Ultimately, he laid the final decision in my hand each time, and I not only decided that we needed to give things a try, but likewise that we needed to ignore the timeline that we had wound up putting in someone else's hands.  It's a good thing that I did the latter too, because it would have meant waiting until late spring to officially be together at all. And so we began the last year.  A year of discovery, pain, change, difficulty, work, and stress.  We've had health issues, trauma trigge

 I wasn't back for long, and the state that I was in before rushing off to Rabbit's came right back.  Just after getting home was my sister's birthday, and I had to do everything for it, because no one else knew how.  While I was in the middle of putting that together, I let Oliver out, and he got some baby birds, so while cooking, the old man was yelling at me for not being outside with him.  As though I could do both.  That day didn't get much easier, but in the following days, things got worse.   My parents were treating me like I had to be constantly doing six things for them at all times, without any real break.  At the same time, I was trying to get Squishy through the end of summer, and the first days of school, and try to keep up with all my stores and channels.  To top it off, Rabbit has things going on at home that I was helping maintain, but I wasn't able to completely solve them, and now he's unable to keep up with the maintenance while dealing with

While Rabbit is trying to heal, there are times when he needs to be able to stretch for the comfort of his leg and back, and he is choosing to do that in VR.  He can feel like he's running and jumping around like a normal person.  Evenings in particular are difficult for him, as his back is strained from going about the day.  This means that most of the night I would be alone while at his place. At the same time, I needed to be on top of my sleep schedule due to Squishy starting school soon.  I was making sure to go to bed by a certain time, and had an alarm for far earlier than Rabbit was waking up.  In some ways, this was nice, because I was able to get a lot of my work done in this time, without having to enforce that time alone.  It however meant that outside of going to appointments, or running errands together, we had little more than mealtimes sharing space, and with both of us being home, and it being my last long stint there for a while, I was feeling a little lonely. I sa

 One of the things that I was concerned about with this last visit to Rabbit's, especially with his still being injured, was getting to be able to get work done.  I'm used to holing up at his place when he has a long work day, but having to get things done with him there hasn't worked the best in the past.  Between wanting to spend time with each other, him not being able to do much without my being present, and things going on in the house that have some spaces less friendly right now, I was incredibly worried about getting things done. The last visit, when he first wound up out of work resulted in me not getting anything done other than necessary product postings for two weeks.  I couldn't take that time off again, knowing that while I was ahead on some things, I was also quickly catching up to deadlines on others.  It wasn't going to look good if this visit also resulted in my not being able to get things made and done.  So I told him leading up to the visit, tha