A New Devious Chapter

Perhaps this is just a side effect of my being a 90's goth.  Trying to go back to things that really make me feel like me, and run from any sort of flatness or normalcy in who I am. Lately though, I've found myself wanting to find more kinkwear, and things that could easily be considered lingerie to some people.  The thing is though, normally I would hate the idea of special lingerie, or dressing to feel sexy or anything like that. What I've been most drawn to are things that are similar to harnesses though.  Men's leather harnesses, or garter style pieces.  I also like some of those elastic harnesses too, so long as they don't just make obvious boob framing. So, I like these as lingerie that doesn't present as lingerie?  I like things that could almost show off the more masculine and strong parts of my figure, rather than making me look more feminine. Also, what's more 90's goth than straps and harnesses and all.  I loved it all as a teenager, a

As of my next post, I'll have been writing to this blog for five years.  Five full years of two posts a week, never skipping a single one, even if deep in depression, anxiety, travels, and brainbugs. While there were small times when this felt like an obligation, in general making myself keep up with it helped me a ton, and definitely shows that I won't put something down right away after starting. I've mentioned several times on here, wanting to do and share more on a larger scale, and so this year I've thought about starting a proper vlog online.  Very simple talk to camera type stuff that helps me educate people, and catch them up on all my projects and progress in things.  Either weekly or bi-weekly, depending on how it goes, or how much material I have. And well, if I'm talking about a lot of current things there, I'm not sure if I want to just regurgitate it all in text here, because there's only so much going on in the world. Which means that

While Lux and I were in Philly, we ran into someone who had been to some events we had, and were chatting a bit.  I told him that I was teaching at them, and listing off what I taught, in case he had seen them in the line up. His reaction was a bit of surprise, because my classes are so specific and require a lot of education and expertise.  After a moment of quiet, he just said he teaches 101 style skill techniques, and I just kept the conversation like those classes were on the same level. I know I bring classes that aren't common in the scene.  I know I bring something that takes more training and understanding than a lot of kink basics.  I also have a lot more education and experience than even most kink educators in the scene when it comes to dance.  However, even as a dancer, I still attend beginners classes, because they're important. 101 and basics classes are incredibly important.  You need to put together something that is easy enough to digest for people who ha

Finally, a month after most other homes, we're done with the holidays!  The week of birthdays finished with Squishy's party last weekend, and now all the big celebration is done for a while. Unfortunately, I'm noticing some amount of SAD kicking in, which is not helpful to everything going on, but hopefully will peter off a bit with things calming down. Squishy's party was pretty simple.  Only two of the four kids she invited showed up, and they mostly played upstairs.  At one point I went to grab them to do cake, and found them playing in makeup (Squishy has some of my older stuff I don't use) and faces covered.  I had to grab my baby oil to scrub their faces, and they of course asked if it was made from babies.  It should go without questioning that I said yes. She was happy though, and her one friend's mom offered to have her stay the night, so we sent her off because she had no school the next day. This should also give me more time to work on things

Just before Christmas, Lux was in Bermuda for the anniversary of planting his father.  While there, some super fancy rum got released on the island, and sold out before he could get to it.  The following weeks were a mess of dealing with a vendor he now hates, and having to file for fraud. Going further back, for a few years, I had thought about making Lux a stocking for Christmas, and filling it with practical things that he didn't yet have, which he'd mentioned wanting, or would work well for him.  Last year, he actually sent me a link to a masculine grooming box, and I told him that there was no reason to order a box when he knew he wouldn't need all of it.  I also told him I had thought about doing that for him, but felt awkward, and he assured me it wasn't a bad idea. So, this year I finally did it.  I hunted down a handful of things for him, and got distracted along the way, which meant getting him some cute fun stuff as well.  This included the argyle socks I

So, this is going to be awkward, and really weird. I was running errands ten years ago, yesterday.  Doing small bits of running around, and we stopped for lunch. I remember looking at the menu, and saying out loud "What will put me into labor?"  So I picked a pepperoni calzone.  While we were out, we picked up a cake.  Because it was my brother's birthday.  He also only said he wanted sandwiches for his birthday dinner, so we picked up a mix of subs, and let that be it. Home we went, and I felt normal.  We got through the afternoon, and I got some things done.  While sitting down at dinner, I noticed myself feeling uncomfortable, but nothing beyond tolerable, and I was told that if I were really in labor I wouldn't be able to function. Oh, my pain tolerance. We had dinner, and were having cake, and I went to the bathroom.  And while in there, I noticed that while I had finished using the bathroom, I could hear that liquid was still happening.  There I sa

I don't know what started the thought process the other day, but out of nowhere I started thinking about how foreplay has changed in sex throughout my life. When I was a teenager, both before and after I started having sex, there would be times when I would literally see the sun rise with a partner, still just performing what would normally be considered foreplay.  Intercourse didn't seem like the main thing, and wasn't treated like an end all be all. And then I had six years of partners who believed that thirty seconds of foreplay was fine before two minutes of intercourse, but that's besides the point. Now though, I exist in this space where there is a mix.  There are times when foreplay isn't that frenzied teenage madness, but something calm, and actually intimate in a way.  Times when that takes it's time.  And then there are times when there are only a handful of minutes before having sex, a rushed fever of force in comparison. And I'm not sure