A New Devious Chapter

 I swear, this is the last post about Rabbit and I starting a relationship.  There's just been a lot going on with it, and most of it has been funny. The day we decided to be official, Rabbit had to go to dinner with his mom.  She had been poking at him not so gently for a while, and while we had a joke about waiting to tell his parents, he wanted to give her some good news. So while they're sitting and having dinner, he stops the conversation, and tells her that we're together.  She is smiling, but stern faced, and he asks about her response.  She says that she's happy that he's happy.  He questions it again, and she mentions that his dad had concerns about my age.   Now, Rabbit has been working at renn faires for a long time (it's how we originally met) and most of his friends are older.  A lot older, to the point where Rabbit's roommate has a couple of decades on him.   Rabbit looks at his mom and asks how old she thinks I am....

 The movie we went to see by the way was Clerks Three.  As we're both from Jersey, all the Kevin Smith movies are important parts of our culture.  Specifically for this series, it's all a testament to different stages of life, with characters who aren't the most proactive.  They're flawed, but they're loyal, and they all have very different stories. It turned out to be more sad than we expected, and when we went home, we thought about the loss that occurred, and how that made us feel about things that have happened with us.  I gave Rabbit directions back to my place, and when we got on the highway, I started thinking.  One of the biggest themes in all of the movies is showing ambition.  Not waiting until a perfect moment, but being proactive in deciding what you want, and taking the risk, because you don't know what'll happen. So when we got back to the house, and curled up in bed, we talked about it.  I told him that I didn't know how I was going...

 It was just after the start of the school year, and Rabbit was at my place for what was seeming to turn into a weekly visit.  We sat on the porch Wednesday morning after Squishy had gone off to catch the bus, and I definitely noticed that he was a little off.  And we sat there, curled up, sipping coffee, when he told me he had something to say.  He prefaced it by saying he was aware that it was full of red flags, then told me that he had some feels.  He said that he would be ok if I didn't want to see him for a while, but wanted to make sure he told me, because he always wants to be transparent with me. He explained that when he realized the feels were there, he took apart the thoughts, and did some introspection to see if it was real.  To see if it was some sort of physical or emotional rebound.  Every time he followed a trail, he realized needs had been met elsewhere earlier.  At the end of the line, was just that he liked the dynamic that was ...

 We're getting through the holidays as of this going live.  We've managed past Rosh Hashanah, and getting through Yom Kippur, which my family usually doesn't observe.  This year though, it seems especially appropriate. There was a lot of wiping things away this year.  Removing people, changing priorities, and sorting out my own life.   I think spending so time in contemplation of that, and everything that needs to be left behind is healthy, and a good use of this time of year, before we gear up for everything happening in the winter months.  How I want to change, what I want to keep up with, and what I need to put down and push away. And there is a lot that I plan to pick up.  A lot that might be changing soon, and some things that are going to be very different for me. But this year deserves to have a lot wiped away.  A lot of bad, and a lot of things that I let slide that I should never have.  And so this coming year I want to focus mo...

 Early this spring, when Rabbit and I started talking, he mentioned wanting to find a rope bottom to practice on again.  I told him that I bottom for rope once in a while, and liked helping people navigate ties and learn.  That was also when I offered to top other play for him, and well, we see how that's turned so far. But when we started talking about rope again, he realized that he'd forgotten everything, and also shared that he enjoyed being tied up.  So in order to help him learn, I showed him the basics of what I knew.  I never learned a lot of rope, because it wasn't much of an interest, but I did learn a little, just to have a better idea of safety.  I claim that I only know enough to get myself into or out of trouble. And while I've been teaching him, I've been tying him up as well.  At the same time, he's feeling more and more drawn to rope, and wants to learn enough to consider himself a rigger.  Meanwhile, I'm just trying to learn enou...

 After my birthday, I spoke about how doomed I am in regards to Rabbit's parents.  How after bringing babka over, I was told that it there needed to be a break before I could make it again, but that anything I did make needed to have a little bit brought over to their house. So during my last visit, I brought with me some crumb cake that I had made a while back but was living in the freezer.  I also made challah on one of my first days there, but took my normal recipe and turned it into more smaller loaves.  I figured that this way they would be a little less upset about the amount of anything I brought over. Well, while making the challah, I mentioned to Rabbit that the dough wasn't quite working the way it normally does, and that I was worried.  The loaves baked up beautifully though, and while I let them sit and cool, I eventually cut the end off of one to test it.  Apparently, whatever I had done, I need to do in the future, because it was my softest ch...

 When Rabbit and I first started talking again, he would remind me that in his previous dynamics where he was submissive, he was heavily trained and very well behaved.  He told me about how he was super obedient, didn't talk back, and was far more of a pet for use than anything. So when we started playing, I continually encouraged him to be him.  I would be bratty with him, and playful, while still having control.  Soon enough, he would start speaking up, playing back, pushing for more, and also being a brat.  It was like all that training went out the window, but at the same time, he seemed happy to do it all, and like he was actually having fun.   We joke about things like brat taming, and how I will spoil him with play, and making sure I have his favorite things on hand.  That I will curl him up and play with his hair, and do all the things that he wants, rather than try to instill discipline.  While he certainly still brats, and is sassy,...