A New Devious Chapter

A week ago, I was talking to Lux early in the morning.  I had been in a poor brain space, but was saying that I would do better that day, because I could make sure I was more packed, and had a ton to do in general.  I was getting Squishy ready for her last day of school before her break started, and talking about random things.  I looked at her and asked if when I travel I should look like a business goth, or super goth.  She answered super goth, and I told Lux about her answer. He didn't agree, saying that he noticed that he is treated significantly better when he dressed up to travel.  I told him that if I was flying, I would absolutely agree with him, because I would need to deal with the higher security.  With buses and trains however, I needed to look far less inviting.  When I travel people look at how small I am, and how young I look, and decide from there that I can be spoken for.  I've had men think they can try something with me on the trains, and needed to pull

I know I said things would calm down after last month. I lied. In the last two weeks or so I've been completely insane with everything going on.  Two birthdays to prep for, one holiday (more on that soon) to get everything ready for, and keeping Squishy prepped for a ton of things in school now that her school year is winding to a close soon.  Art for books is being done, writing for my first cook book finally, crochet prep for Fusion, practicing dancing with swords, and a thousand other things. I feel like every day lately is a mad rush to see what I can actually fit into the day.  At the same time, I'm trying to juggle being present and giving people plenty of time, which I will always prioritize, because I would want them to do it for me if I needed it. It's a whirlwind, to say the least. Luckily, today is Easter, and while on one hand that means a lot of what I've done is now being utilized and I get to enjoy it, it also means that today after dinner, I ge

I've been plotting out the next couple months, and while that includes a trip up to see Lux, a wedding we are going to, and a handful of other small things, it also means starting to think about Fusion. It's the same week Squishy finishes school again, but luckily there wasn't any snow days, so we should actually be able to attend the entire event for the most part.  That means more time at camp, and given that Lux and I want to do more with the event this year, that's important. I'm planning on teaching a lot more, and pulling out some interesting performances that I'll be able to tell the story on in the coming week or so.  I also want to play with more people, and really take advantage of the event. My classes are all prepped, luckily.  I just need Pyre to go through and pick what exactly I'm bringing.  This will involve a lot of new things, which I'm excited to teach, as it involves lectures, which is something I haven't done in a long time

Just before Christmas, Lux was in Bermuda for the anniversary of planting his father.  While there, some super fancy rum got released on the island, and sold out before he could get to it.  The following weeks were a mess of dealing with a vendor he now hates, and having to file for fraud. Going further back, for a few years, I had thought about making Lux a stocking for Christmas, and filling it with practical things that he didn't yet have, which he'd mentioned wanting, or would work well for him.  Last year, he actually sent me a link to a masculine grooming box, and I told him that there was no reason to order a box when he knew he wouldn't need all of it.  I also told him I had thought about doing that for him, but felt awkward, and he assured me it wasn't a bad idea. So, this year I finally did it.  I hunted down a handful of things for him, and got distracted along the way, which meant getting him some cute fun stuff as well.  This included the argyle socks I

Right now, I'm getting ready for adventure. I'm finally able to take a week to head up and visit Lux for the first time in over a year, and we're both looking forward to it. Which means soon I take a short trip to the bus station, then attempt to not get lost in NYC, and then a long train, albeit a pretty ride, up to Lux.  I'm doing things a bit differently this time, but it should work out ok. It's been way too long since I've gotten up there.  With everything going on with his family, and then how busy we were for a few months, there just wasn't the option.  This trip is going to be a bit different as well.  Lux is now with a job where he works from home most of the time, so I'll need to make sure to keep myself occupied with him there during the day, so he has the chance to work in his office, but hold him to some sort of schedule as well.  It'll be a strange balance to keep.  At the same time, Lux is looking forward to being able to go ou

Weeks ago, Lux, Dansa, and I had made plans to visit a historic village near me. Lux and I had intended to go for years, but never got to it, and Dansa loved the sound of the place as well. After everyone comparing calendars, we found a weekend that would work, which was this past weekend. A few days prior, Dansa contacted me.  Her new boyfriend wanted to come visit, which she later had said she wanted to see how we felt about him after having more time in a more casual setting.  This was presented to Lux in a poor way, but after we spoke, he seemed to be a bit more ok with it. The weekend happened though, and it went fairly well.  We burned up a ton of the scrap in the basement on Friday, and then Saturday with a very casual day, we went about wandering all sorts of cute places, which they loved exploring.  In particular, they had a party in the coffee roaster, and the peanut butter store. I saw quite a few friends, to the point where Dansa seemed curious as to how I knew so m

I'm back from Pennsic, and somewhat back to a normal routine. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind. Lux came down the weekend before Pennsic.  He had to travel for work, and so he brought his gear down early, so I could do any repairs, finish packing, and the like, while he was far away, without having to keep his gear in the truck for a week.  That weekend went fairly smoothly, and it was good to have the time with him.  Early in the morning, he left for a flight, and was down in Florida for most of the week.  The plan was, for him to return Thursday, so we could have Friday to clean, pack the truck, and relax before driving out Saturday morning. Well, weather decided that wasn't happening, and after many delays, he had to catch a flight Friday morning.  While watching the tracker for that flight, it literally looked like a toddler scribbling on the east coast to show where they were going.  I was a panic, but apparently Lux was fairly calm.  His flight wound up be

This weekend we leave for Pennsic! I have to say, this one has been hard to prep for.  It's been a project to pack, and get organized.  I've had adventures get in the way, and plans in flux that made things difficult. However, I'm excited to teach, and wander around, and work on new things, and see people, and a thousand other things. I've done a lot in the last month to get ready, including helping Lux get organized amongst everything going on.  Which, that's been a thing as well.  I've been trying to stay present for him while he's getting used to a new job, and needs more contact with people.  It's been a lot of sewing, and yarn work, and crochet, and drawing, and packing, and organizing and a ton of other things to get here. But this will be a very different Pennsic for us.  Just like the rest of summer, which has had a lot of new things and firsts for us. It's time for an adventure!

One last Fusion post.  I think. So, one of the most amusing things I found over time while at Compound, was how people never quite knew how to think of me.  That they were constantly having little tidbits, and only getting more and more confused and intrigued. Camp definitely started with them thinking I was a submissive bottom.  That I belonged to Lux, and it was as simple as that.  They looked at Lux and tagged him for a domly dom top, and gave me the easiest box to go with it. Until sitting there one morning, discussing knifeplay methods, and I started talking about my own practices as a top in regards to safety and tools.  Suddenly I was more.  This was something Lux didn't talk about, it wasn't me talking about him.  It was my own practice as a top. And then, they realized I switch. But, did Lux switch? Did we switch together? Were we both into all the same things as a top? Now, Lux and I don't switch.  I am very statically a happy slave, but they don&#

Last weekend I went up to the city to visit Dansa, after she had visited me a few times, and was asking when I could come up to her place.  After a lot of arguing with the gnome, and dealing with things, I was off to the city, with plans to go to a rope thing that night, and some little adventures for my birthday.  I had to navigate the city unsupervised to get up to her place, which went fairly smoothly, as worried as I was.  When I got up there I provided much desired distraction from work, and got settled in.  We got some food, had coffee, and I found out one of the people I was supposed to tie with wouldn't be there that night. We went off to the rope event, which was incredibly quiet.  Dansa got through her ties, including one bendy one on me.  She tried doing some purposefully mean things, and got a bit pouty when I didn't even flinch.  Even when she dropped me back on the ground, she started kicking me to try and get me to acknowledge pain, wound up hurting herself

I'm back from my first Fusion, and feeling better about it the longer I look at it.  There was good and bad, and the event was very different for both Lux and I just due to how we kept somewhat different schedules with my having classes to manage and all. Lux came in from Austin where he was training for his new job.  He showed up at my doorstep in a suit, and if we didn't have a two hour drive ahead of us, that suit would have been a mess shortly after seeing him. The ride was fairly uneventful, with the exception of us making the same mistake we always do when we make a trip west.  We will inevitably do the same thing in a month come Pennsic. Getting there, I got a very similar feeling to Pennsic, but on a much smaller scale.  It felt comfortable, and despite everything, I had no problem walking around Fusion by myself at night. Thursday Lux met Pyre for the first time, and I met a bunch of the fire team.  While awkward at first, they let me open up by the end of the

This is my last post that I prepped before heading to Fusion, and since I'm writing this up so close to going, I've had plenty of time to talk about, and think about the event prior to, and all the emotions leading up to it. Lux and I have talked several times about our feelings in regards to camp.  We've had a lot of issues with registrations and such given my being staff, and Lux being... called dibs on as a strong pretty menfolk helper.  It's been a bit of frustration, but not something that can slow us down. We're both excited.  It's a new thing for us both, we each have plans, and are getting to see people and do things we haven't in a while.  We are used to going to events together, and each doing our own thing, and making sure to spend time with the other.  It's something we've just been able to do, and that works really well for us.  We're also worried.  It being so new, we don't quite know how this event will work for us in par

I'm on the way to Fusion today! I'll be teaching two classes, and playing with others, and spending time with Lux.  I'll also be performing, helping the fire team, and exploring. I've been spending a lot of time putting together classes, and music, and packing, and prepping.  That's not all that's gone on in the last couple weeks for me though.  I published two new coloring books!  They're both out, and I have the groundwork set to start a few new ones over the summer. I also got a new prompt journal that plays with a fun writing exercise to publish as soon as I'm home.  I started playing more with how I work out every day, because time is still a little wonky unfortunately. There's also been some other things that you'll hear about soon. It's been a productive month.  I'm feeling like I have better support, and good people around.  I'm feeling like I'm doing more, and even if this isn't something huge, I'm

Lux asked me a couple weeks ago if I wanted to accompany him to a wedding he was in last weekend.  It happened to be a weekend that I was without a Squishy, so I said I would be his plus one, and we could spend some time together before Fusion.  Well, after a week of trying to figure out details, Lux made his way down after the rehearsal.  We had joked a day or two before that whenever we spend time together, we need to do prep work.  Drinking extra water, stretching, cardio, all an amusing number of things to need to do knowing our own marathon habits. Well, the entire weekend was busy.  The wedding went smoothly, with the exception of Lux's suit exploding on the dance floor.  He kept said that it fit poorly, and then tried to squat while dancing, and poof.  We thought about trying to get through dinner, but that wasn't going to happen.  Just as food was being brought out, we went back to the hotel, where Lux did a full squat, just for the full range of pants explosion, be

After the last week, I'm feeling motivated, and drawn to teach. Which is a good thing, because I'm handing in my classes for both Pennsic and Fusion this week. Last year Kitty was very intent on the idea of me just teaching one class, and even though I wound up not going, being limited in that way made me a bit upset.  According to him, he wanted to make sure I wasn't overextending myself, and wanted to make sure I had time for me, and time with Lux.   Except that dance isn't work for me, and these classes don't take a ton of prep on site.  I'm getting to dance and share and have fun.  It's something that helps me keep going. And as an extrovert, decompression time alone isn't much of a thing I need.  I'm going to be running around full of energy the entire time.  It'll be halfway home that I run low, and Lux will see me slump down in my seat, out of energy from finally stepping away. So I'm teaching what I want, and that f

Tomorrow, the wee beastie goes off with the gnome over her spring break from school.  That means over a week when I don't need to be home to watch over her.   Which means that the next morning, I start a long trek of trains to head north and spend time with Lux, which I'm looking forward to more than I can say.   It's been a long time since I've been up there.  Almost a year honestly, and I miss getting to have time just with him up north.  We also haven't had much chance to spend any sort of extended amount of time together in far too long.   We've both hit the point where that distance has created that purely imaginary paranoia.  I recognized it a while ago, and I think getting to spend some serious time together will help.  Getting to relax, and enjoy time, and not try to cram a couple of hours with each other will definitely do us both good. We managed to go a long time with this distance, and the last year has really been a test with far less

I'm home from Pennsic, and this year was really fantastic.  Lux and I had a much better time than last year, and I felt far more comfortable over all.  Things moved a lot more smoothly, and it was a load of fun. My class went well, and I got in a lot of other solid classes.  Only one was a little disappointing, but the rest were all super fun and I picked up a few cute new things.  Unfortunately, we didn't spend anywhere near as much time at parties this year, so straight up dancing time was a lot lower than last year, but we still had fun nonetheless. The weather kicked everyone's ass.  It was so hot and humid that they were cancelling the heavy battles, and people were dropping left and right.  Most afternoons Lux and I would just lay next to each other, wanting to show affection, but avoiding contact.  The phrase "Don't touch me" became a joke for a few days, due to how gross it was.  With the exception of the first night, when we were clinging to each

This should be the last post prepped up before Pennsic.  You get fresh new stuff soon hopefully. And, speaking of which, this one is looking super busy for me, despite my previous entries! I've got eleven hours of dance classes across three days, a big dance show, and a munch to attend.  Parties at night, and lots of people I want to find time with. I want to find time to walk the camp and take pictures to show everyone. And now, my friend Ogre and Lux both want playtime with me, and are determined to beat me up.  Which, I'm certainly not going to complain about if it happens.  I'm looking forward to actually getting in play time again.  It should be really fun, and while it might be a project to cover the marks, I'll make due. I've also been talking to the cute boy from last year, and I'm pretty determined to touch butts.  I am however terrible at showing attraction toward someone until I develop enough mutual comfort with them to just be awkward and

I often feel like I'm cheating, or losing out on big adventures, because I very rarely do things with a lot of expectation.  It's probably a bit due to everything in the past, but as time has gone on, I've just stopped making a lot of expectations in regards to anything, because more often than not, I'm met with disappointment. For the last while, I've been getting messages, or hearing from Lux that he wants to make something of his Pennsic.  He wants to do this, or that, or focus on this for the week.  Like he has this mountain of fantasies to pack into our trip. And while I'm planning on attending a lot of classes, I know they're all feasible to me.  So long as it isn't too hot, I'll be tired at the end of the week, but they just depend on me taking a short walk every day.  I'd like to walk the grounds and take pictures one afternoon when I get the time, but again, that's just dependent on me finding time to mosey about around everythin

On my birthday, Lux handed me two bags of fabric.  See, he needed a ton of new tunics that actually fit his arms, and he didn't make any.  That left me with two weeks to make him tunics to wear for a week. Luckily, I did most of my personal packing well beforehand.  He questioned it when I did it.  I'm sure he's happy now. And my brother came to visit. Which means that with the beast home, and my brother visiting, I had to sew eleven tunics, most of which is from fabric he ordered and had mailed to me after he handed me the initial bags. Needless to say, I was running around like a headless chicken, knowing I would get it all done, but still worried that I might not have the time to get it all done.  But he'll be comfortable, and feel much better in things that fit him properly.  And in turn, I get to feel accomplished in knowing that he enjoys everything I've made for him. There's service in everything, and just that makes me happy. I'm really h